I'm a Christmas/ Solstice girl myself, and right now I'm wrapped in a warm blanket of good food and family bickering and siblings home from the military. My mother's house is crowded and we're all loud and tripping over wrapping paper and very slightly drunk.
I hope your holidays are as fantastic and comfy and nostaligic as mine. Merry Christmas!
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Sleepy Time
Fell asleep reading porno comics and listening to my roommate have awesome sex.
Best. Masturbation. Ever.
Best. Masturbation. Ever.
Friday, December 11, 2009
A Title I Would Write If It Weren't For The Following
Things I Like:
- Being told that I am a good girl
- Sleep
- Awesome scary sex
- Snow
- Christmas cookies
- Having another source of income
Things I Do Not Like:
- 16 hour days
- 16 hour days arranged poorly, so that I only get 4 hours of sleep
- People with shoes that cost as much as my rent joking about how I should take them out for lunch
- The fact that the above bothers me
- Losing yet another chance to break out of this cycle of exhaustion and debt
...all of which happened in the last week.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Polyamory/Multi-Partnered Research Study!
Polyamory/Multi-Partnered Research Study (cross-posted; please cross-post it yourself!)
Have you ever been in romantic and/or sexual relationships with two or more people at the same time?
Were these relationships consensual among all parties, with each partner aware that you were in multiple intimate relationships?
Did at least one of these relationships last one (1) year or longer?
Do you have a workable knowledge of written English?
If you answered yes to these questions, you are invited to share your experiences by participating in research on polyamory and those who choose to openly and consensually partner with multiple people simultaneously. If you and anyone you know who is multiply partnered wish to contribute to this study, please go to the secure research website or click on the link below to complete the on-line confidential, brief (15 minute) survey.
http://spiritualpolyamory.questionpro.com
The researcher, Akhila E. A. Kolesar, is a doctoral student at the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology in Palo Alto, California. She may be reached at polyresearcher@yahoo.com or 1-877-433-5143.
Have you ever been in romantic and/or sexual relationships with two or more people at the same time?
Were these relationships consensual among all parties, with each partner aware that you were in multiple intimate relationships?
Did at least one of these relationships last one (1) year or longer?
Do you have a workable knowledge of written English?
If you answered yes to these questions, you are invited to share your experiences by participating in research on polyamory and those who choose to openly and consensually partner with multiple people simultaneously. If you and anyone you know who is multiply partnered wish to contribute to this study, please go to the secure research website or click on the link below to complete the on-line confidential, brief (15 minute) survey.
http://spiritualpolyamory.questionpro.com
The researcher, Akhila E. A. Kolesar, is a doctoral student at the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology in Palo Alto, California. She may be reached at polyresearcher@yahoo.com or 1-877-433-5143.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Trolls in RL
I've had a couple of annoying comments (in RL) over the past week that I'd like to deconstruct.
The first:
"Are you at least gay?"
The context: we were helping a mutual friend move, and I'd carried more than he expected for someone of my size. He was joking about how his masculinity was somewhat threatened, and came up with that gem.
It didn't make me feel good. It was awkward on so many levels- the first being that there's no way a cute little thing like me could lift things unless she eats pussy.
Which I do, sometimes. Not often. Not enough for me to feel secure in my sexuality, especially when my favorite pussy is out of town.
Okay, though, really? I can't decide whether to be more annoyed about the gender stereotyping or the sexuality stereotyping. I'm used to people thinking of me as tiny, petite, little, weak, fragile. I take advantage of it, from time to time, because I am at heart a pragmatist. But exclaiming how strong I am because I was able to carry six shelves instead of two is a little condescending, don't you think? Not to mention the implication that anyone who likes getting fucked by a penis couldn't possibly be, you know, good for something else.
The other comment, (not from the same guy):
"Wow, you sure are complex."
This one didn't get me nearly as riled up, but it did make me think. The context: I was explaining how there was a cute dapper butch girl at work- wingtips, sweater vests, the whole deal. Yummy, but also a girl at work, and I really do prefer to avoid that sort of thing. I was telling this to a sometimes-friend of mine, who responded with the above, and the following explanation (slightly paraphrased): "You were engaged to a guy but you like girls. You have wild kinky sex but you won't fuck your coworkers. You'll date lots of people but you don't like drama."
Um... yes?
It made me think because, to me, none of those things are complex, or difficult, or inconsistent, and I guess I sort of interpret complex to mean inconsistent. My sexuality isn't complex or hard for me. Why should fucking guys and fucking girls be mutually exclusive, any more so than fucking people and fucking objects and fucking yourself? I understand that most people have preference. That's cool. But preferring both isn't any more complex than, say, liking both a good beer and a good whiskey. It just depends on my mood and the local scenery.
The comment and it's explanation implies that those things are somehow difficult for people to do at the same time. Like having kinky sex means you don't have any judgement, or boundaries. Like being poly means you really just want to have drama in your life.
I love sex. I particularly love the kind of sex I've been having for the last year: all-your-wildest-fantasies-plus-a-few-you-never-heard-of sex. I love the sex- not because it is wild or crazy or out there or edgy, but because it is SEX. If it is occasionally those other things, that's fantastic, but it could be fucking crochet as long as it got me off.
Similarly, I'm poly because I love these people. I get to have my cake and eat it too. I am lucky, and I am not about to mess with that.
I do grasp that I am uncommon, statistically speaking. But I do want people to understand: I am not trying. This is not an effort. This sex, this life, these words are me, the simplest me: a girl at peace and an object at rest.
The first:
"Are you at least gay?"
The context: we were helping a mutual friend move, and I'd carried more than he expected for someone of my size. He was joking about how his masculinity was somewhat threatened, and came up with that gem.
It didn't make me feel good. It was awkward on so many levels- the first being that there's no way a cute little thing like me could lift things unless she eats pussy.
Which I do, sometimes. Not often. Not enough for me to feel secure in my sexuality, especially when my favorite pussy is out of town.
Okay, though, really? I can't decide whether to be more annoyed about the gender stereotyping or the sexuality stereotyping. I'm used to people thinking of me as tiny, petite, little, weak, fragile. I take advantage of it, from time to time, because I am at heart a pragmatist. But exclaiming how strong I am because I was able to carry six shelves instead of two is a little condescending, don't you think? Not to mention the implication that anyone who likes getting fucked by a penis couldn't possibly be, you know, good for something else.
The other comment, (not from the same guy):
"Wow, you sure are complex."
This one didn't get me nearly as riled up, but it did make me think. The context: I was explaining how there was a cute dapper butch girl at work- wingtips, sweater vests, the whole deal. Yummy, but also a girl at work, and I really do prefer to avoid that sort of thing. I was telling this to a sometimes-friend of mine, who responded with the above, and the following explanation (slightly paraphrased): "You were engaged to a guy but you like girls. You have wild kinky sex but you won't fuck your coworkers. You'll date lots of people but you don't like drama."
Um... yes?
It made me think because, to me, none of those things are complex, or difficult, or inconsistent, and I guess I sort of interpret complex to mean inconsistent. My sexuality isn't complex or hard for me. Why should fucking guys and fucking girls be mutually exclusive, any more so than fucking people and fucking objects and fucking yourself? I understand that most people have preference. That's cool. But preferring both isn't any more complex than, say, liking both a good beer and a good whiskey. It just depends on my mood and the local scenery.
The comment and it's explanation implies that those things are somehow difficult for people to do at the same time. Like having kinky sex means you don't have any judgement, or boundaries. Like being poly means you really just want to have drama in your life.
I love sex. I particularly love the kind of sex I've been having for the last year: all-your-wildest-fantasies-plus-a-few-you-never-heard-of sex. I love the sex- not because it is wild or crazy or out there or edgy, but because it is SEX. If it is occasionally those other things, that's fantastic, but it could be fucking crochet as long as it got me off.
Similarly, I'm poly because I love these people. I get to have my cake and eat it too. I am lucky, and I am not about to mess with that.
I do grasp that I am uncommon, statistically speaking. But I do want people to understand: I am not trying. This is not an effort. This sex, this life, these words are me, the simplest me: a girl at peace and an object at rest.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Sunday Night Quote
"You are responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose."
-The Fox from Le Petit Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery
-The Fox from Le Petit Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Friday, November 6, 2009
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